PLACES TO VISIT IN ABSURDISTAN

• West Hradec (the capital of Absurdistan)
• Absurdistan Times Nine (major newspaper)
• University of Absurdistan (classes you don't want to miss)
• Project RW Headquarters (a collection of rhyming words)
• Project UVGN Tailquarters (a curious geographical search)
• Institute for Retarded Studies (science inside out)
• Fake Lake (Hey Beavis - check this out...)
• Absurdistan Adult Area (I am sure you know what THAT means)
• La Fionco (national park and recreational area)
• Rio Bio (homepage of the Absurdistan's Ambassador to the Earth)
• Ejsi, DC (the former capital of Absurdistan)
• Hic Sunt Leones (Don't go there!!!)

COUNTIES

• Cimrman's County (a tribute to the greatest genius of all time)
• Czech County (gateway to the Czech Republic)
• Math County (what I like in mathematics)
• Weird County (contains an important message from aliens)

Safety tips (to be obeyed between 5am-4am)

• If you don't have glasses, download an optometrist NOW!
• In some counties in Absurdistan, it may be illegal to carry a herb omelette in an open container.
• Have your blood pressure checked every 15 minutes.
• Put your wallet and all your valuables under the keyboard.
• Remember that reading this page impairs your ability to drive a car or operate farm machinery. If you surf while driving, try to stay in the same lane. Women should not read this page during pregnancy.
• If something doesn't look right,
  turn your computer monitor upside down.
• Don't talk to the computer screen in the presence of your supervisor, your wife or your socks-in-law.
• If you are allergic to the letters "c", "r" or "p", don't read this page.
• Don't follow links with strange colors or odors.
• If you get stuck in an elevator, turn on the auto-pilot.
• If you are attacked by rabid butterflies, press the F1 key.
• For transportation to Absurdistan use Netscape.
  Explorers caught at the border are sent back.
• The standard voltage in Absurdistan is 99V.
  Please, adjust your coffee maker.
• Avoid lions. They are NOT user friendly.
• Drink only Analytic Beer
• If you don't understand something, don't worry.
  The chances are that I don't get it either.
• Have a pocketful of deep fried chicken wings ready.
• If you get lost use the map.
  If you don't know how to use a map, get lost.
• When someone sneezes, say "Cuckoo!"
• When pulled over by police, pretend you are a vacuum cleaner.
• Do not pick someone else's nose.
• Do not pick yours either.

This homepage was made exclusively out of organic, home made electrons, grown in the pollution free environment of Antarctica. No whales, seals, crocodiles, lawyers, ostriches or raccoons were killed during its production. And last but not least, all the consonants on this homepage are purely fictitious. Any similarity with real consonants is either a matter of coincidence or an indication of your vision problems.