logo ax3.gif (1872 bytes)
ax2.gif (1609 bytes)
ax4.gif (1631 bytes)
ax1.gif (1873 bytes)
Product warning: Printouts of this homepage, when crumpled and swallowed
may cause serious choking.
   Honza's Home Page
   Honzova Domostrana

You have just entered the first 100% virtual country on this planet
or possibly on some other planet
or maybe somewhere else

PLACES TO VISIT IN ABSURDISTAN

COUNTIES

   Absurdistan is brought to you by the Brotherhood for Advertisement Free Universe.

Safety tips (to be obeyed between 5am-4am)

  • If you don't have glasses, download an optometrist NOW!
  • In some counties in Absurdistan, it may be illegal to carry a herb omelette in an open container.
  • Have your blood pressure checked every 15 minutes.
  • Put your wallet and all your valuables under the keyboard.
  • Remember that reading this page impairs your ability to drive a car or operate farm machinery. If you surf while driving, try to stay in the same lane. Women should not read this page during pregnancy.
  • If something doesn't look right,
    turn your computer monitor upside down.
  • Don't talk to the computer screen in the presence of your supervisor, your wife or your socks-in-law.
  • If you are allergic to the letters "c", "r" or "p", don't read this page.
  • Don't follow links with strange colors or odors.
  • If you get stuck in an elevator, turn on the auto-pilot.
  • If you are attacked by rabid butterflies, press the F1 key.
  • For transportation to Absurdistan use Netscape.
    Explorers caught at the border are sent back.
  • The standard voltage in Absurdistan is 99V.
    Please, adjust your coffee maker.
  • Avoid lions. They are NOT user friendly.
  • Drink only Analytic Beer
  • If you don't understand something, don't worry.
    The chances are that I don't get it either.
  • Have a pocketful of deep fried chicken wings ready.
  • If you get lost use the map.
    If you don't know how to use a map, get lost.
  • When someone sneezes, say "Cuckoo!"
  • When pulled over by police, pretend you are a vacuum cleaner.
  • Do not pick someone else's nose.
  • Do not pick yours either.
It is not quite clear at this moment, whose opinions are presented on this homepage. They don't seem to be mine, nor do they seem to be those of: Gregory Abbott, Christopher Abernathy, Jeff Absher, Chris Albert, Julieta Alvarez, Scott Andrews, Stacy Arnold, Christina Bain, Michael Bastin, John Belanger, Charlie Bell, Michael Bishop, Chris Bouchard, Anthony Breimeier, Frits Brouwers, Dan Cagney, Jason Caston, Albert Chalegua, Andrew Collado, David Creech, Judith Daniels, Diana Diehl, Bryan Dunne, Karen Eckhardt, James Erickson, Brian Garkie, Vincent Gills, Amy Gralewski, Peter Wrocklage, Susan Younger, Roshonne Zygmund, Jason Haines, Brian Harris, David Henke, Edward Hennessy, Barbara Herbert, Michael Horn, Gregg Horras, Cynthia Hunt, Anthony Jacobi, Doris Kessler, Robert McMahon, Alexander Melville, Bryan Naosh, Par Nelson, George Patton, Cheryl Respass, Matt Richwine, Kathy Russell, Josh Rutgers, Susan Sarandon, Trish Sarnack, Barbara Schilling, Rudy Sessa, Marcus Steele, Joseph Sweeney, Patrick Terentieff, Helen Toll, Dick Tracy, Arthur Tracy, Joe Tyler, Monica Vandermonde, James Watt, Peter Witten, Claribel Woods, Frank Zaricki and many, and I mean really many, others.

This homepage was made exclusively out of organic, home made electrons, grown in the pollution free environment of Antarctica. No whales, seals, crocodiles, lawyers, ostriches or raccoons were killed during its production. And last but not least, all the consonants on this homepage are purely fictitious. Any similarity with real consonants is either a matter of coincidence or an indication of your vision problems.

 

caution. SURF WITH CAUTION

And that's all folks
have a nice rest of your life
take it easy
and if you need anything
don't hesitate and buy it.

honza@absurdistan.sin.cos

First updated: June 11, 1995
© 1995-2004 Jan Rehacek (trumpeta8@yahoo.com)
McLean, VA 22102, USA