PINK MOUNTAIN

(7,394 ft. over the sea level)
Pink Mountain is the second highest peak in Absurdistan (after Local Extremum in Math County, which is 7,395 ft.). It lies approximately half way between the towns of Kocourkov and New Yarka Metelka. You can't miss it since the whole mountain is painted pink. The legend has it that the pink coat is the revenge of Absurdistan's exiled painter Salvator Zdali, who was deported from the country after he refused to fix Princess Monica's make-up. On the eve of his deportation, Zdali 19 of his students and two truckfuls of sprayguns climbed up the mountain and covered it with the most disgusting hue of pink the money could buy.
Yuck!!!!
It is not surprising that such an abhorrent concentration of pink has adverse effects on the human digestive system and, as a matter of fact, most hospitals in Absurdistan show patients the above picture to induce vomitting. At the side of the mountain (hidden behind the trees) is the Absurdistan's State Penitentiary, whose inmates are being punished by the view. The ASP is considered to be one of the toughest prisons in the world. Dave Novy, a prisoner sentenced to 10 years for criticizing the Party's policy, told a local reporter: "It's not worth it. After watching this pinkish rock for 7 years I'd rather behave."

The pink color of the mountain doesn't seem to do much good for ordinary citizens either. The area is virtually devoid of tourism and the few bold explorers who entered this region soon became "pinksick". In case you are traveling through the area, keep in mind that the most common symptoms of pinksickness are increased blinking, a mild fever and a definite inclination towards communist ideals.

Some animals, however, developed a surprising ability to thrive in the painted habitat. Namely the pink panther whose fur is virtually invisible on mountain's slopes. That's probably why there is such a small number of escape attempts from the prison. Most of prisoners are afraid that they'd fall prey to the pink panther if they made it over the fence.



If you like pink, your piano might develop an attitude problem.
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