Welcome to Absurdistan's most popular place THE ADULT AREA 51
in New Yarka Metelka. Please, leave your clothes in the coatroom
and don't scream. People are working around here.
(sorry, this is not a clickable image)
The picture you are just incredulously watching is the famous "breast detail", featuring a piece of skin of the exotic dancer Melissa Warbyd, situated about an inch and a half under the nipple of her right breast. The photograph shows an area of about 0.0013x0.0007mm and as such is the most detailed erotic picture in the world. The unusual smoothness of the skin at such magnification is caused by a wrong choice of the focusing distance and by equally wrong developing techniques. Nevertheless, the original of this picture was sold for 250,000 AF and is still one of the most expensive pictures ever shot in Absurdistan.
And here comes a real treat for erotica afficionados. This picture presents the greatest number of naked people ever portreyed on one photograph. Let me point out just a few highlights of this great epic. Approximately 7mm below the shoreline of northern Africa you can see the desert expedition of a Cornell anthropologist Dr. Jessica Turnbull and her two companions Miss Stephanie Wood and Patricia Walters having a topless afternoon siesta in front of their tent, located in the southeast tip of Algeria. Also easily seen is the famous nude beach "Harare" in west Congo, filled with shapely French and Spanish tourists. Africa is also a continent where native women don't wear bras, so the total number of naked women on this photograph is estimated at 34,000,000 while the number of naked men on the same picture is only about 170,000 which will probably make the photo less attractive to women than to men. So all you horny guys, get yourselves a magnifying glass and enjoy!
NUDE FISHING Please visit our nudist colony located on the east shore of the Fake Lake, just 14 miles south of Kocourkov. Spend a quiet rainy afternoon without your clothes and with our top quality fishing equipment (a rod rents for 200 AF/hr.). All fish you catch is guaranteed to be yours. Binoculars available. Register today and be eligible to win a sugar free gum.
JOIN THE MASCULINIST ULTRACENTER PARTY NOW! Men, are you tired by being oppressed by your wife/mother/sister/aunt/grandmother/niece/girlfriend/ daughter/granddaughter/cousin? Are you irritated by women holding doors for you? Do you have to foil unwelcome sexual advances every day? Join the masculinist party. We offer a specially trained commando to protect our members 24 hrs per day and we are fighting to reinstate certain words back into the English language, where they belong. For instance "hisesy" instead of now common "heresy", "hisald" instead of "herald" and "heet" instead of "sheet". Our team of experts will also teach you how to cook, wash your clothes, iron them, walk your dogs and vacuum so you that you can be that perfectly independent person you always wanted to be. Sponsored by Tea Bags Unlimited.
ATTENTION ANIMAL LOVERS We now proudly present our complete
catalog of color photographs of 218,928 common species (mostly mammals),
all of them without any clothes. This monograph also includes
the famous section of beavers in their natural habitat and even more famous
section of really wet bears.
You won't believe your eyes. Order NOW! Call 1-9-2638 and ask for Poochie.
As a bonus gift, we'll include our "Fresh Air Fun Kit" for no extra charge.
Full frontal nudity
DONT'T LOVE YOUR WIFE ANYMORE? Use our Monster Escort Service and in two days you will gladly return to your beautiful wife. Our female monsters were handpicked by the French swimwear designer Jean Claude Marceau and their manners were spoiled by the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Zwicker. If you can spend three nights in a row with our monsters your money will be fully refunded to you and your wife will be offered a job in our company.
VIBRATORS FOUND Three vibrators were found running west accross our corn field yesterday evening. We managed to catch them and lock them in in our barn. We'd like to ask the owner to send a self-addressed stamped box to Croton family, Overbrook International Cornfield, Weird County, Absurdistan. They seem to be in a stable condition even though 2 of them must be having some kind of fever since they keep shaking and shivering from cold.
ABSOLUTELY SAFE SEX! Are you afraid of venereal diseases? Are you
uncertain of the sexual past of your partner? Why take chances? Protect
Do not trust condoms anymore! They are not as safe as their manufacturers like to tell us. After all, they cover such a small part of the body. Only 2.82% of its total surface area! Use our cover-all condom made out of impenetrable glass fibre materials. This last model that you see on the photograph weighs only 4.5 pounds and sells for 4500 AF during this limited time offer. So don't hesitate. Safe sex is our motto. You owe it to yourself and to your lover as well. You have other things to worry about.
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